Saturday, October 9, 2010



It’s over! I did it! 2:33:51 with an 11:45 net pace!

So today was the big day! The day I’ve been training for since June! Crazy Crazy!

Yesterday I wasn’t exactly sure how to prepare for this half marathon, so I decided that a mani/pedi is an excellent way to get ready for anything. So after my mani/pedi, I headed home. I had tostito’s with guacamole, eggplant fries, and pasta. Not quite sure why I had the first two, but ohhhh whatever. I went to bed around 11:00 and slept the entire night through. I had one dream that the marathoners were starting and they shot a gun! (That apparently doesn’t happen in real life.)

So when I woke up in the morning, I was a bit nervous, had those butterflies floating around. I didn’t rush, as you can tell since I blogged in the morning before I left. When I did leave I didn’t hit any traffic through Hartford! I wish that could happen during the week.

So as I pull up, I pretty much follow the herd to parking. As I’m walking up to the starting line, there is this f’n cop. Now, I have recently started to enjoy some cops, however, as most know, I think most cops are of the swine descent. And this cop I ran into today is a prime example. I, along with several other runners, are walking from our cars and the cop goes “You better hurry up! The race starts in 10 minutes!” And I just sort of looked at him…and then he looks back and goes “I’m serious! Start running!” So I continue walking and think: That prick, I’ve got 30 minutes. Then I see everyone else start panicking and then start running! This being my first race, and the fact I was alone, I ashamed to admit it, but….I followed the herd. I picked up my pace and started running. And then about 30 seconds later, I hear over the loud speaker “Runners! Race time- 30 minutes!” So I stopped running and confirmed the fact that some pigs are just f’n pigs. (And some are very nice.)

Alright, so I walk up to the start line and there are THOUSANDS of people. It was insanity. There were so many people and they were already lined up! I had no idea why people were going to stand in line for 30 minutes. I, luckily, had something to do. I had to find the bag drop because I thought it would be a good idea to bring a gym bag full of crap I didn’t need. One never knows, though! I ran into a friend from work who was running the 5K and when I asked her where the bag drop was she started freaking out saying I better hurry up! So that made me a little nervous, but I was quick and was back to the start before anyone noticed. Ohhhhhh wait….no one would notice because I was the only person there who was alone! That is the one thing I’d change about today. I would definitely at least start the race with someone. Kinda sucked starting alone.

So anywaysssssss, as the race started, we walked until we got to the start line and then my section picked up the pace. The main advice I’ve received from experienced runners is that you shouldn’t start the race with too fast a pace, so I started with my normal pace. Things were going great. Got cut off a couple times. Smelled some nasty ass BO. Smelled some people relax their ass muscles. Saw some guy running whilst pushing a baby’s stroller, which was very interesting.

The first six miles were not bad at all. Sort of floated through. Silently laughed inside my head when I passed people who were walking. They clearly started the race at too fast of a pace. HAHA, Suckers! So once I get to the sixth mile, people were handing out energy gels, aka toothpaste. I was eating chocolate toothpaste while running, it was nasty, but I figured if they’re handing them out to people who have just run 6 miles, there must be a reason for it, so I sucked it down even though it was nasty. Things were moving along quite nicely, except for the fact that the course designers thought it would be a good idea to put all the hills in the second half of the race. There weren’t too many hills, but still, is there a reason the hills couldn’t be in the beginning of the race?! So I kept on and then I hit Mile 10. Holy shit, this is where the pain began! This is right about the time my muscles decided they wanted me to know what it was like when muscles freeze and eventually fall off. I kept going even though it was horrible. And the only reason I kept going was because of this damn blog! I knew I would want to say I ran the entire thing instead of saying I mostly ran and then walked a little. So I’ll tell you the truth. I ran the entire f’n half marathon! HOLLA!! At mile 11 I stopped at the water table to actually drink a cup of water. The reason I decided to stop here was because every time I tried to drink a cup of water whilst running I got nothing. So I stopped once and then finished those last two miles.

I passed a nice cop when there was half a mile left. He yelled out there was half a mile left and then he told me to not listen to my brain. Not the best advice, seeing as my brain kept saying “You can do it Lauren! Keep going, less than a mile left!” (Loser? Yessssssss.) What the cop should have said was “Don’t listen to your legs!” My legs were telling me to quit for the last 3 miles, that was insane.

So I’m running and there is an overpass that says “Hartford Marathon” and there I go thinking that’s the finish line…IT WASN’T! It was just an overpass! So I pushed myself for an extra quarter mile, which was good. So I’m running through the end and I feel like I’m on top of the world.

There were hundreds of people cheering all the runners on and then I see the finish line. And I feel this stupid emotion start to creep up my throat. When I crossed the finish line, I started f’n crying!! It was insane!! PAGING DR. FAGGOT! I’ll be the first to admit, definitely a gay thing that I cried at the end of a half marathon. Emotional shit though. Toughest accomplishment of my life, and I finished it. I wasn’t heaving or crying hysterically but a couple tears definitely went down my face. Then I composed myself and saw my parents and then gave them a hug, so that started it up again. After that round I was all set and felt like a f’n champion!

The news reporter must have seen my shit-eating grin and she came up to me and asked me if she could interview me. I clearly try for any attempt on T.V. so I said of course! Check me out tonight! 10:00 News, Fox CT HOLLA!

Alright, I apologize this blog is so f’n long, but it is the DOAFGGS finale. And on that note, people have been asking me what the hell that shit stands for this entire time. So here it is: Diary of a Fantastic Goal Gone Successful. I couldn’t tell anyone before because I wasn’t sure if I was going to actually have this goal be successful, but I am proud to say that yes, I indeed successfully completed a half marathon!

So this may be the DOAFGGS finale, but don’t you worry my friends, I’ll be starting a new blog quite soon. And those of you who just rolled your eyes, go f*ck yourself. You choose to read this shit son! Nowwwwwwwww off to celebrate my accomplishment!

Morning of....

Alright, it's 6:32 am and I'm sitting in my kitchen an hour and a half before race time. Now, this is my first race ever. I'm nt exactly sure why I decided to start with a half marathon. A simple 5k would have been just as rewarding, but now, I decided 13.something miles was the way to go.

I would like to pull a Jeffrey from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire and start the race, but then hop into a cab to bring me to the finish line. Orrrrrr, even better, I'd like to pull an The Office move and hop into a cab, grab a meal, and then have the cab drop me off at the finish line. I wonder if I can convince any other slackers to do this with me. Highly doubtful. I went to pick up my bib yesterday (P.S. I love that they call it a bib.) and there were hundreds of runners at the XL Center. Not one of these people looked like a slacker. However, I may be able to find several in the back of line where I will be starting. :)

I'm just kiddinggggggg. These two tiny feet are going to take me all the way to the finish line. My goal today is to finish. I'll post again once that goal is accomplished, which it will be!

P.S. They gave us a very cool running shirt when we picked up our bib. Is this totally going to give away that this is my first race?

P.P.S. They highly discourage iPod use. F that. Ludacris Pandora will be what gets me through! Alright, I'm off!