NO SHOT FOR YOU! 2 YEARS!

Today was a rest day which was nice because I’ve been moving crap allllllll day. Travis and I bought a condo which is exciting, but also a shitload of work. Today the Salvation Army came and took our couches, coffee table, entertainment center, and the 2 pink chairs Stephanie and I used to spin each other on in middle school….and high school. (And probably a couple times last year during our 5^th year of college.)

There is currently a bed, a chase lounge, a book case, and two TVs in my apartment. As a result of being a cheap ass, or something else as my friend Conte calls me, I only have 20 channels on the T.V. in the bedroom. Clearly this doesn’t work for me unless I’m watching Seinfeld or The Office right before bed.

So I am sitting on a cushion in the middle of a big room, because……………I’m slow. I, me personally, got the chase lounge into the bedroom in August. If I got it in, I should be able to get it out. Right? WRONG!

After I got back from my insane spin class, I attempted to drag the chase lounge into the living room. After about 15 attempts and many “What the front door?”’s (Possibly using a bit more adult language), I said screw it and just took the cushions. So I am sitting in the middle of the floor in my apartment…on a cushion. Such a stud.

So anyway, spin was good. The guy is a slave driver, but then acts all nice at the end. Like, I want to punch you in the face because you only have us one 30 second break in an hour, but I’m too happy it’s over and that I get to go home and have the rest of my Subway sandwich. So I peaced out quick, but that was after he told me there is a glitch in the new iPhone 4 software, so beware you crazy iPhoners that have already or are about to update your phone.

Since nothing funny happened during spin, I figured I could just spit a funny story from Atlantic City. I know this is getting long, but suck it up and read it. How much reading do you do in a day anyway?

So a bunch of girls went to Atlantic City for Kerri’s bachelorette party and it was beyond insane. Thank God it was before this training began. Anyway, the second night was the big bash. After an interesting pre-game, all of the ladies went to this bar called Murmur in the Borgata hotel. DJ Jazzy Jeff was the DJ that night, no lies. He was the best DJ I’ve ever had the privilege of dancing to.

After several people fell off the stage, I needed a bathroom break. When I come out of the bathroom, the entire group of about 15 girls was gone. Who’s the prick? Oh that’s right, it’s Kasey. Leaving me in the trenches…taking grenades, K-Hole.

So I figured the group headed over to the other bar. As I was about to leave to hopefully rejoin the group, I realized I did not cash out my tab. As I walk over to the bar, a man of, shall we say, color? came up to me and asked me if I would like a shot.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever met a 24 year old girl, but the answer to that question, is invariably going to be yes. Sooooo, as you can guess, I said “Yes.” We walk up to the bar and we start talking. The bartender is taking his or her (can’t remember) sweet time coming up to us. So as the conversation gets a little more in depth, (And when I say in depth, I mean he asked me my name and why I was at the Borgata) he then follows with “So, do you have a boyfriend?”

As all of you who are reading this know, yes, yes I do. And I’m not a douche bag, so I said, “Yes, yes I do.” Well apparentlyyyyyyyy, that’s not something a man wants to hear. He actually got pissed and told me I was “false advertising.” Now, I don’t understand this. He asked me if I wanted a shot…I did. When someone asks me if I want something, and I do want that something in question, then hell yes I’m going to say yes. What do you think I’m dumb? Plus, it’s a free shot, I don’t care who it’s coming from. (This cheap thing is starting to become a theme.)

He legit told me he was not buying me a shot and I should stop telling people I want shots. I felt like I was in Seinfeld…. “NO SHOT FOR YOU! 2 YEARS!”

Now, I thought this was the funniest part of this story, but the best part is actually when I told my dad this story. It was Father’s Day and we were out to dinner at a nice restaurant. I thought I would tell a funny limerick to amuse my parents, but this story actually ended in a parental advisory warning.

My dad: “Lauren, do you know what a man wants when he asks you if you want a shot?”

And, I’ll leave it at that.

First big run tomorrow. 5 miles. Yeah, I said big. I’ve ran 5 miles in my life before…twice. Count it, that’s one and then one more. So this may be a challenge for me, and it’s only the first week.

Oh and MOST IMPORTANTLY, Thank you to Chris LaCava for being the best support ever! He ever-so-graciously came up with my entire training schedule for me. Cava, you are the best! THANK YOU!

P.S. He said this to me on Facebook

“:Nice blog. You can give me a shout out if you want. Lol. Enjoy the easy, early weeks.

Yesterday at 11:56pm · LikeUnlike · ”

See that…easy, early weeks…CRAP, what am I getting myself into?